An elderly couple had dinner at another couples house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great ... I would recommend it very highly."
The other man asked, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know ... the one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the first man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Missing out on some of the good (fun) things! Part II
Growing older, and being older, does not, and should not mean, going without some of the "pampering" things of life.
OK, so you're not too sure whether the little teenage beauty therapist will faint when you undress for a bit of a massage (if she hasn't seen anything like your figure until now, then she will certainly be able to form an opinion on what an older woman can look like, and hopefully she'll gain a new appreciation of women growing older - it's all education for her, and it's all enjoyment for you). But a massage is good. There are so many different massages to choose from - facial, head, shoulders, back, legs and arms, full. Your choice.
Manicures and pedicures - what's stopping you? This idea of sitting on a large padded chair which vibrates to soft music (to lessen your fear or of the unknown) and soaking your feet in an aromatherapy perfumed bath before having the most wonderful foot massage, and then choosing a colour to paint the nails, has to be experienced to be believed. Don't be bashful, don't be shy, be outrageous - choose a brilliant, vibrant, sexy colour polish. Do it as often as possible, as often as practical and as often as you can afford it.
Growing older does not mean growing decrepit - worn out, fallen into disrepair or ruin. Yes, we may be a little slower, we may take twice as long to think of a word, we may have to wear dentures, hearing aids, use a walking stick or walking frame, but we deserve the right to be taken seriously, to be revered and respected.
OK, so you're not too sure whether the little teenage beauty therapist will faint when you undress for a bit of a massage (if she hasn't seen anything like your figure until now, then she will certainly be able to form an opinion on what an older woman can look like, and hopefully she'll gain a new appreciation of women growing older - it's all education for her, and it's all enjoyment for you). But a massage is good. There are so many different massages to choose from - facial, head, shoulders, back, legs and arms, full. Your choice.
Manicures and pedicures - what's stopping you? This idea of sitting on a large padded chair which vibrates to soft music (to lessen your fear or of the unknown) and soaking your feet in an aromatherapy perfumed bath before having the most wonderful foot massage, and then choosing a colour to paint the nails, has to be experienced to be believed. Don't be bashful, don't be shy, be outrageous - choose a brilliant, vibrant, sexy colour polish. Do it as often as possible, as often as practical and as often as you can afford it.
Growing older does not mean growing decrepit - worn out, fallen into disrepair or ruin. Yes, we may be a little slower, we may take twice as long to think of a word, we may have to wear dentures, hearing aids, use a walking stick or walking frame, but we deserve the right to be taken seriously, to be revered and respected.
Missing out on some of the good (fun) things!
Growing older to a lot of women means "doing without" even more things and more often that they've usually done. Why?
I've been reading a lot of posts lately where women say they're becoming even more lonely than ever; they never have anything to look forward to; they feel as though they're sitting in a corner and nobody cares!
If you're mobile, can get up into a bus without too much pain and discomfort; even have a car and can still drive, then there are some things that you can do to improve your daily plans. There's much to be said for "volunteering" and this isn't a bad idea at all. Think about joining an auxiliary at your local hospital and "man" their kiosk or small cafe team; join a group of ladies who go visiting shut-ins; sit and talk with other women who are undergoing chemo or other treatments. Add your presence to work at a charity shop. If you like animals, offer to "pet-sit" occasionally. Ask your council about having your home address being added to the "Safe Houses" for school children to come to if they feel anxious about other people in the street at school home-time (you'll need a Police Clearance as well). All these things can be fun and you meet a lot of people - young and old. If you're more outgoing, then why not put a notice up in the local coffee shop and invite other ladies to join you for say a Wednesday morning coffee-get-together at that same coffee shop.
Why not do an on-line course in a subject you have a special interest in, or a course at your local Neighborhood House. There are many "hobby" classes available - painting, crafts, scrapbrooking, cake making; cookery etc. But then you're probably an expert in all of these things already, having done them during your earlier years. Write a family journal - everybody seems to be interested in genealogy at the moment , but it's sometimes the little personal anecdotes that are more interesting and important to family members. Put your memories down on paper. Even if noone else "seems" interested, then at least you will have performed something for your own pleasure.
There are those women who have "always" been active - played bowls; attended elderly citizens meetings; gone on bus trips with other groups; been part of a garden group; a book club; groups attending theatre and cinema outings. But many women have been too busy with family and other commitments to follow these things through their younger years. As far as career women are concerned, their whole lives have been filled with meeting dead-lines and agenda of employers, coupled with managing a home and bringing up a family. Who had time for hobbies or other interests?
Yet there are some slightly "outrageous" things you can plan to do. What about taking some lessons in ballroom or line-dancing (yep, there are classes sprinkled all around the city and suburbs and people who are wonky on their legs all go and have a wonderful time!). Belly-dancing is something that is both pleasurable and beneficial, especially if you suffer arthritis. I can speak from experience here. As a timid and shy person, I found belly-dancing was so liberating and empowering - I surprised myself by having so much fun. Save up and have a birthday fling on a Harley Davidson bike (most places have this sort of "tourist" thing available - you can pretend you're a tourist and this will open countless doors of opportunity for you.) And imagine how jealous your friends will be when you tell them you rode a Harley Davidson with a great looking "bikie" - in leathers! Get a photo if you possibly can, so you can boast about it. I reckon boasting if more than half the fun.
To be continued ......
I've been reading a lot of posts lately where women say they're becoming even more lonely than ever; they never have anything to look forward to; they feel as though they're sitting in a corner and nobody cares!
If you're mobile, can get up into a bus without too much pain and discomfort; even have a car and can still drive, then there are some things that you can do to improve your daily plans. There's much to be said for "volunteering" and this isn't a bad idea at all. Think about joining an auxiliary at your local hospital and "man" their kiosk or small cafe team; join a group of ladies who go visiting shut-ins; sit and talk with other women who are undergoing chemo or other treatments. Add your presence to work at a charity shop. If you like animals, offer to "pet-sit" occasionally. Ask your council about having your home address being added to the "Safe Houses" for school children to come to if they feel anxious about other people in the street at school home-time (you'll need a Police Clearance as well). All these things can be fun and you meet a lot of people - young and old. If you're more outgoing, then why not put a notice up in the local coffee shop and invite other ladies to join you for say a Wednesday morning coffee-get-together at that same coffee shop.
Why not do an on-line course in a subject you have a special interest in, or a course at your local Neighborhood House. There are many "hobby" classes available - painting, crafts, scrapbrooking, cake making; cookery etc. But then you're probably an expert in all of these things already, having done them during your earlier years. Write a family journal - everybody seems to be interested in genealogy at the moment , but it's sometimes the little personal anecdotes that are more interesting and important to family members. Put your memories down on paper. Even if noone else "seems" interested, then at least you will have performed something for your own pleasure.
There are those women who have "always" been active - played bowls; attended elderly citizens meetings; gone on bus trips with other groups; been part of a garden group; a book club; groups attending theatre and cinema outings. But many women have been too busy with family and other commitments to follow these things through their younger years. As far as career women are concerned, their whole lives have been filled with meeting dead-lines and agenda of employers, coupled with managing a home and bringing up a family. Who had time for hobbies or other interests?
Yet there are some slightly "outrageous" things you can plan to do. What about taking some lessons in ballroom or line-dancing (yep, there are classes sprinkled all around the city and suburbs and people who are wonky on their legs all go and have a wonderful time!). Belly-dancing is something that is both pleasurable and beneficial, especially if you suffer arthritis. I can speak from experience here. As a timid and shy person, I found belly-dancing was so liberating and empowering - I surprised myself by having so much fun. Save up and have a birthday fling on a Harley Davidson bike (most places have this sort of "tourist" thing available - you can pretend you're a tourist and this will open countless doors of opportunity for you.) And imagine how jealous your friends will be when you tell them you rode a Harley Davidson with a great looking "bikie" - in leathers! Get a photo if you possibly can, so you can boast about it. I reckon boasting if more than half the fun.
To be continued ......
Recognising beauty for what it is - Part II
Why is it, especially in western society, that older women are seen to be "unlovely" because of their wrinkles, their faded complexions, their thinning hair? I ask this because it is quite obvious in many cultures that aging is equated with wisdom and that age, in the number of years, to be seen as something to be admired.
Women of age, and of different nationalities are nurtured and loved within the family unit; it's not unusual to see four generations in the one home all doing their own thing, but being mentored in the womanly arts of cooking, craft work, good manners and etiquette among each other, by the eldest member (s) of the family.
Take for instance our Greek and Italian friends. They live for each other, they go places and do things together; they eat together, they celebrate together. They help each other. They cook for each other, they do for each other. When there is a need it is met by others within the family. They don't even seem to notice age differences. It's the people and personalities that seem to matter. Funny thing, that.
I have a personal friend - a lovely Chinese woman Linda, whose large home she shared with her husband, their daughter and son and their partners, their little children. Her home is also shared with her mother. This wonderful great grand-mother is revered as the sage of the family; everyone seeks her advice and everyone treats her as a special precious gem. She is included in every discussion and every decision made within the family. She is in her late 80s. Her great grand-children are in her care during the day. The joy this family has in her presence in their lives is overwhelming in its simplicity and intensity.
Yet I have another friend in her 60s who is ignored by her children and grandchildren. They're too busy. She is forgotten for months on end, and then usually it's only when someone wants something that she has that they will contact her. She is very seldom included in family get-togethers (birthday, Christmas, Easter) and there's always an excuse as to why she is "forgotten". This lady lives less than 3 kms from her son. She lives alone and her loneliness has brought with it illness and lines of anxiety and worry (which could have been avoided if she'd been able to talk through things with the family). Yet she did everything for her family when they were younger; gave them as much as she could, was always available for baby-sitting and house minding when the grandchildren were small and when they went on holidays. But now in her growing older years, she's seen to be a nuisance, and she's made to feel it, too.
What is doubly sad about this second lady is that her grandchildren actually told her that she looked "ugly" because she's old, and they've even laughed about her, in her presence. The fact that they now ignore her, is something that she bears because she has to, and because it's easier to do so.
From what I've experienced, as Western women, we tend to look at our reflections as something that needs "beautifying" or making younger by way of anti-aging methods, one way or the way. Shouldn't we take time to look at ourselves and to study our reflections seeing the beautiful things about us that no one else on this planet share? Many women from western cultures who are growing older or who are deemed to be "old" have forgotten how to love themselves. They've forgotten that they are uniquely formed and created.
We've got to get back to basics. We've got to treat ourselves as the person we are, not necessarily the age we are. We're no different to that young teenager wanting to be accepted by a peer group; we're no different to that young woman wanting to have a happy home and family; we're no different to the maturing woman wanting to have a career or satisfaction in her hobby, leisure pursuit or even a personal enterprise. We're no different to that woman through all her states of womanhood seeks companionship and love and affection.
What's age got to do with anything? OK, so we slow down. Our bodies are impacted by gravity and in some cases, illnesses.
But that shouldn't stop us from doing the things we've always wanted to do; and to pamper ourselves every now and again. We should be able to experiment with new things, new dreams, new goals, without having to justify why. Have fun. Don't take any nonsense from anyone! Don't accept bad manners, or inappropriate attitudes and/or behaviour.
Women of age, and of different nationalities are nurtured and loved within the family unit; it's not unusual to see four generations in the one home all doing their own thing, but being mentored in the womanly arts of cooking, craft work, good manners and etiquette among each other, by the eldest member (s) of the family.
Take for instance our Greek and Italian friends. They live for each other, they go places and do things together; they eat together, they celebrate together. They help each other. They cook for each other, they do for each other. When there is a need it is met by others within the family. They don't even seem to notice age differences. It's the people and personalities that seem to matter. Funny thing, that.
I have a personal friend - a lovely Chinese woman Linda, whose large home she shared with her husband, their daughter and son and their partners, their little children. Her home is also shared with her mother. This wonderful great grand-mother is revered as the sage of the family; everyone seeks her advice and everyone treats her as a special precious gem. She is included in every discussion and every decision made within the family. She is in her late 80s. Her great grand-children are in her care during the day. The joy this family has in her presence in their lives is overwhelming in its simplicity and intensity.
Yet I have another friend in her 60s who is ignored by her children and grandchildren. They're too busy. She is forgotten for months on end, and then usually it's only when someone wants something that she has that they will contact her. She is very seldom included in family get-togethers (birthday, Christmas, Easter) and there's always an excuse as to why she is "forgotten". This lady lives less than 3 kms from her son. She lives alone and her loneliness has brought with it illness and lines of anxiety and worry (which could have been avoided if she'd been able to talk through things with the family). Yet she did everything for her family when they were younger; gave them as much as she could, was always available for baby-sitting and house minding when the grandchildren were small and when they went on holidays. But now in her growing older years, she's seen to be a nuisance, and she's made to feel it, too.
What is doubly sad about this second lady is that her grandchildren actually told her that she looked "ugly" because she's old, and they've even laughed about her, in her presence. The fact that they now ignore her, is something that she bears because she has to, and because it's easier to do so.
From what I've experienced, as Western women, we tend to look at our reflections as something that needs "beautifying" or making younger by way of anti-aging methods, one way or the way. Shouldn't we take time to look at ourselves and to study our reflections seeing the beautiful things about us that no one else on this planet share? Many women from western cultures who are growing older or who are deemed to be "old" have forgotten how to love themselves. They've forgotten that they are uniquely formed and created.
We've got to get back to basics. We've got to treat ourselves as the person we are, not necessarily the age we are. We're no different to that young teenager wanting to be accepted by a peer group; we're no different to that young woman wanting to have a happy home and family; we're no different to the maturing woman wanting to have a career or satisfaction in her hobby, leisure pursuit or even a personal enterprise. We're no different to that woman through all her states of womanhood seeks companionship and love and affection.
What's age got to do with anything? OK, so we slow down. Our bodies are impacted by gravity and in some cases, illnesses.
But that shouldn't stop us from doing the things we've always wanted to do; and to pamper ourselves every now and again. We should be able to experiment with new things, new dreams, new goals, without having to justify why. Have fun. Don't take any nonsense from anyone! Don't accept bad manners, or inappropriate attitudes and/or behaviour.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Recognising beauty for what it is - at whatever age!
Miss Piggy probably said it best:
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
and it may be necessary from time to time
to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
But let's seriously consider it. It's a very old sentiment which has been around since the 3rd century and while many men have included that sentiment in their work (Shakespeare for one), the actual quotation "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" was first seen in print in 1878. Margaret Wolfe Hungerford (nee Hamilton) who wrote many books often under the pseudonym of "The Duchess" wrote "Molly Bawn" in 1878 and used the phrase "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
And the saying and the meaning behind the saying is as pertinent today as it was when first penned.
You only have to look at the animal world to see that it's true. Mothers just adore their off-spring and it's the same with us. A new born babe will bring oohs and aahs and sighs of delights.
Take your surroundings - things of beauty dazzle our eyes every moment of every day. Beautiful flowers, extraordinary sunsets. The moon reflected on the water. The sight of Uluru after it has rained. The sound of a country stream merrily singing as it travels down a hillside. The quietness and beauty of the forest. Tiny little insects - ladybirds and the like, small birds learning to fly; the snuffling of a wombat. We will spend time just watching their antics and movements. Funny little kittens and puppy dogs. Even little children as they try to walk and in doing so keep toppling over.
It's not only young things that are beautiful. Oh yes, the body of a "gorgeous" young woman will bring similar oohs and aahs and in fact will convince other young women that they should emulate the beauty defined by the media while those of us who are older, smile and remember!
As far as "beauty" is concerned, where does that leave the growing older woman? Or the woman in her prime - the 70s, 80s and 90s?
It's weird, but men seem to be besotted and enamoured by battered old rusty cars or utes. They'll spend hours longingly cleaning them and doing them up. But what do they do when their girl-friends or wives grow a little old and rusty? Trade 'em in for a later model. Crazy!
They may even cunningly suggest that she's let herself "go" and could do with a bit of Botox (or not!) which should be taken with a grain of salt. What do you really want botox for? To hide the life-experiences that shoe the world that you've lived? We should never be taken for granted or persuaded to change our looks merely for the sake of "looking younger". Why? The hands and neck will tell the story anyway and no botox will help those areas.
(And anyway, do most of us actually KNOW what Botox is? It is made from "botulinum toxin type A", a poison produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum, which causes botulism, a severe form of food poisoning.
Botox is injected into the muscles used in frowning and raising the eyebrows to paralyze them and thus smooth out the wrinkles. Common side effects of Botox injection include droopy eyebrow or eyelid, headache, respiratory infection, flu syndrome, and nausea.)
To be continued .....
Botox is injected into the muscles used in frowning and raising the eyebrows to paralyze them and thus smooth out the wrinkles. Common side effects of Botox injection include droopy eyebrow or eyelid, headache, respiratory infection, flu syndrome, and nausea.)
To be continued .....
Friday, May 21, 2010
Aging Outrageously! - Keeping Focus! Part III
Then the "woman in the mirror" tells us we're no longer important. We've let ourselves go; we've lost whatever attraction we may have had, and we're in a heap. Lines show in our faces; our hair is thin and grey; our figures - well! Gravity has had a grand time, hasn't it? So we're worn out - physically, emotionally and spiritually.
But wait a minute. Is it so hard to deal with? Is it impossible to overcome? Does it mean losing all sense of self and importance?
Even if along and "single", are there ways of getting back some sense of esteem and confidence? Can we see the silver lining in the dark clouds that block out our horizons?
Importantly, is there such a thing as "can't do"?
One of our team reminded us, again, of a little story heard as a child. The story of the little red train, trying to reach the top of the hill. She (we think of him as "she") was unsure of herself; she'd lost all confidence because she was overwhelmed by all the bigger trains who had lots more strength and energy and she felt afraid of failure. She told herself she'd never, ever, ever, reach the top of the hill.
But something inside her told her that she had the capacity to do anything she wanted to do, or even that she had to do, if she really wanted to. Her sense of "can't do" became "I can do, if I believe in myself." Self doubts attack us all. But like the little red train. Her mantra became "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. In fact I KNOW I can. The more she thought about it, the more determined she became, until she actually huffed and puffed herself to the top of the hill.
We're like that. There are times when we feel defeated. When we just "can't reach the top of the hill. When everything around us is negative. And even our inner thoughts about ourselves are negative and we can't "see" that we have the power to turn the "can't" into a "can do."
We're not saying it's easy. Because it darn well isn't. And it takes a lot of determination and mindset to turn the tide. Is it worth it in the long run? Definitely.
It means learning to "keep focus". Focus on what's important in the whole picture. How we see ourselves and our lives and how we want to live our lives, for ourselves as well as our families. No excuses to others who want to have a piece of us and who are determined that we don't know best. No guilt feelings acquired from past experiences and carried through to "now". No wasting time!
The here and now is what it's about. YOURS and OURS. Here and now. We know we are accountable for our actions and our responsibilities to others. We also know that overcoming what seems to be insurmountable does more for our confidence that almost anything else. We KNOW that we'll be better people once we have overcome the negativity.
And the woman in the mirror will be grateful too. A new light will flash in her eyes, she will smile more often; she will let us see our "good" points more easily. She will enjoy herself, and in so doing, we'll enjoy ourselves too!
Because to age gracefully and graciously is something we all aim for; to age outrageously is something we want to do and look forward to doing.
A quotable quote: Virginia Woolf 1882-1941. With apologies to Virgina - we've changed the word "he" to "she" for the purpose of this post.
Talk to you later.
But wait a minute. Is it so hard to deal with? Is it impossible to overcome? Does it mean losing all sense of self and importance?
Even if along and "single", are there ways of getting back some sense of esteem and confidence? Can we see the silver lining in the dark clouds that block out our horizons?
Importantly, is there such a thing as "can't do"?
One of our team reminded us, again, of a little story heard as a child. The story of the little red train, trying to reach the top of the hill. She (we think of him as "she") was unsure of herself; she'd lost all confidence because she was overwhelmed by all the bigger trains who had lots more strength and energy and she felt afraid of failure. She told herself she'd never, ever, ever, reach the top of the hill.
But something inside her told her that she had the capacity to do anything she wanted to do, or even that she had to do, if she really wanted to. Her sense of "can't do" became "I can do, if I believe in myself." Self doubts attack us all. But like the little red train. Her mantra became "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. In fact I KNOW I can. The more she thought about it, the more determined she became, until she actually huffed and puffed herself to the top of the hill.
We're like that. There are times when we feel defeated. When we just "can't reach the top of the hill. When everything around us is negative. And even our inner thoughts about ourselves are negative and we can't "see" that we have the power to turn the "can't" into a "can do."
We're not saying it's easy. Because it darn well isn't. And it takes a lot of determination and mindset to turn the tide. Is it worth it in the long run? Definitely.
It means learning to "keep focus". Focus on what's important in the whole picture. How we see ourselves and our lives and how we want to live our lives, for ourselves as well as our families. No excuses to others who want to have a piece of us and who are determined that we don't know best. No guilt feelings acquired from past experiences and carried through to "now". No wasting time!
The here and now is what it's about. YOURS and OURS. Here and now. We know we are accountable for our actions and our responsibilities to others. We also know that overcoming what seems to be insurmountable does more for our confidence that almost anything else. We KNOW that we'll be better people once we have overcome the negativity.
And the woman in the mirror will be grateful too. A new light will flash in her eyes, she will smile more often; she will let us see our "good" points more easily. She will enjoy herself, and in so doing, we'll enjoy ourselves too!
Because to age gracefully and graciously is something we all aim for; to age outrageously is something we want to do and look forward to doing.
A quotable quote: Virginia Woolf 1882-1941. With apologies to Virgina - we've changed the word "he" to "she" for the purpose of this post.
Each has her past shut in her
like the leaves of a book known to her heart,
and her friends can only read the title.
Talk to you later.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Aging Outrageously! - Keeping Focus! Part II
In our travels and dealings with women we have come to the conclusion that most older women (of course there are exceptions to the rule) have, during most of the seasons of their lives, given to others excessively even to the point of sacrifice and neglect to themselves and their personal needs (of time, money, opportunities and lots of other things.)
Now this is not an un-natural occurrence. As a child we defer to our parents and honor them for being who and what they are. Whether we like them (as well as love them) is sometimes debatable, but ....... As a growing teenager, we suddenly discover we can do lots of things outside of our parents rule-book (whether they know about it or not is another matter!), but we grow and learn and discover lots of new things, and sensations. As an adult we can quite often find ourselves responsible for other people, including parents, children, other family members, indeed even friends. We take on all these responsibilities with sensitivity and regard them as being privileges.
Then one morning we wake up, and life has changed - drastically and dramatically for us.
Our children (those of us who have them, bless their little hearts) have moved out, married and started their own families; our parents may have an even greater need of our attention and our love and care (and even though we get tired at the end of the day, we really wouldn't have it any other way, because the alternative is too horrid to think about !); our partners need not only more emotional care and support but also physical; and friends have a far greater need and call upon us to offer the shoulder more often plus a few tissues to help them through all of what's going on with, and in, their lives.
Some of us even find that what we thought was "firm" and long-standing, no longer is. Financial circumstances can set off all sorts of alarm bells inn our feelings of independence and security. Health problems rear their nasty little heads and cause us lots of sleepless nights. Marriages or relationships break down and so often we find we are beset with all sorts of problems never before imagined. We may find ourselves adrift without any support or encouragement from those people who are supposed to care - even family and friends. We may face the prospect of having to fight battles without the energy or resilience of youth. We set out to do what we must do because we've fought these same battles time and time again throughout our younger years. A case of deju vu. But now we're older, and we're much more tired.
To be continued .......
Now this is not an un-natural occurrence. As a child we defer to our parents and honor them for being who and what they are. Whether we like them (as well as love them) is sometimes debatable, but ....... As a growing teenager, we suddenly discover we can do lots of things outside of our parents rule-book (whether they know about it or not is another matter!), but we grow and learn and discover lots of new things, and sensations. As an adult we can quite often find ourselves responsible for other people, including parents, children, other family members, indeed even friends. We take on all these responsibilities with sensitivity and regard them as being privileges.
Then one morning we wake up, and life has changed - drastically and dramatically for us.
Our children (those of us who have them, bless their little hearts) have moved out, married and started their own families; our parents may have an even greater need of our attention and our love and care (and even though we get tired at the end of the day, we really wouldn't have it any other way, because the alternative is too horrid to think about !); our partners need not only more emotional care and support but also physical; and friends have a far greater need and call upon us to offer the shoulder more often plus a few tissues to help them through all of what's going on with, and in, their lives.
Some of us even find that what we thought was "firm" and long-standing, no longer is. Financial circumstances can set off all sorts of alarm bells inn our feelings of independence and security. Health problems rear their nasty little heads and cause us lots of sleepless nights. Marriages or relationships break down and so often we find we are beset with all sorts of problems never before imagined. We may find ourselves adrift without any support or encouragement from those people who are supposed to care - even family and friends. We may face the prospect of having to fight battles without the energy or resilience of youth. We set out to do what we must do because we've fought these same battles time and time again throughout our younger years. A case of deju vu. But now we're older, and we're much more tired.
To be continued .......
Aging Outrageously! - Keeping Focus!
Let's start off with the obvious. A woman goes through many phases as she grows from childhood through to a teenager, an adult and then an older woman. These changes influence & impact upon her life at all those particular points in time and travel with her into the future, sometimes bringing with them emotional reminders, both good and bad. These she either confronts & deals with or carries as baggage.
But for the majority of us all the "seasons" of womanhood are exciting, filled with promise and challenges plus a few pitfalls which we manage to struggle through and rise above when it's difficult but which we mainly sail happily through.
Then one day the face in the mirror that looks back at us, is unrecognisable. Experience, joys, hardship, worry, anxiety, the ups and downs of surviving in a world that may present hurdles and difficulties, show in our face and in our body. Gravity wears away at our looks and figures, and for some reason our mind undergoes a similar change. Not always for the better I might add. Yet it forms the opinion that the person in the mirror no longer deserves to be pampered or bothered about. Even as far as saying that the person no longer deserves respect.
With that decision, many subtle and not so subtle changes become habit. We take less care of our complexion, our hair, our hands and feet. We take less trouble in choosing clothing. Anything that fits (whether it suits us or not) will do! Many women even give up on their favourite past-times or leisure pursuits, including hobbies, and "retire". When I think about it, and I decided not to think about it too often a long time ago, "retire" is such a negative word! It's really not worth my attention, because by definition it means, to sit in a corner and rusticate! Isn't it better to "rest" when we need to, and to bustle around doing things when we choose to? As so often happens when a woman "retires" she loses her sense of being important, if not to others, then quite often to herself. Silly, isn't it?
And what happens is that women no longer see themselves as intelligent, articulate women deserving of having their opinions heard and respected. We also forget, far TOO often, that we are still sensual beings.
Is it wrong for us to "want" to wear makeup, to dress nicely, do things we want to do, go where we want to go, travel, undertake courses at TAFE or university, even?
Why not buy a new car, leave a failed and/or broken relationship, especially if that relationship has become violent and uncaring? Even, dare I say it, a lover?
Don't get me wrong - I have strong principles and ethics that direct my personal standards, but life is short, and it needs to be treated with the utmost respect, humility and affection.
Affection for life? Of course. It's a wonderful and unique thing - life. You can't make it, you can't copy i
To be continued .....
But for the majority of us all the "seasons" of womanhood are exciting, filled with promise and challenges plus a few pitfalls which we manage to struggle through and rise above when it's difficult but which we mainly sail happily through.
Then one day the face in the mirror that looks back at us, is unrecognisable. Experience, joys, hardship, worry, anxiety, the ups and downs of surviving in a world that may present hurdles and difficulties, show in our face and in our body. Gravity wears away at our looks and figures, and for some reason our mind undergoes a similar change. Not always for the better I might add. Yet it forms the opinion that the person in the mirror no longer deserves to be pampered or bothered about. Even as far as saying that the person no longer deserves respect.
With that decision, many subtle and not so subtle changes become habit. We take less care of our complexion, our hair, our hands and feet. We take less trouble in choosing clothing. Anything that fits (whether it suits us or not) will do! Many women even give up on their favourite past-times or leisure pursuits, including hobbies, and "retire". When I think about it, and I decided not to think about it too often a long time ago, "retire" is such a negative word! It's really not worth my attention, because by definition it means, to sit in a corner and rusticate! Isn't it better to "rest" when we need to, and to bustle around doing things when we choose to? As so often happens when a woman "retires" she loses her sense of being important, if not to others, then quite often to herself. Silly, isn't it?
And what happens is that women no longer see themselves as intelligent, articulate women deserving of having their opinions heard and respected. We also forget, far TOO often, that we are still sensual beings.
Is it wrong for us to "want" to wear makeup, to dress nicely, do things we want to do, go where we want to go, travel, undertake courses at TAFE or university, even?
Why not buy a new car, leave a failed and/or broken relationship, especially if that relationship has become violent and uncaring? Even, dare I say it, a lover?
Don't get me wrong - I have strong principles and ethics that direct my personal standards, but life is short, and it needs to be treated with the utmost respect, humility and affection.
Affection for life? Of course. It's a wonderful and unique thing - life. You can't make it, you can't copy i
To be continued .....
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