AGING!

Another couple to make you laugh ...

Number 1:

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'

'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'

And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

Number 2:

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!'

'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'

Following on from the article Empowerment of Older Women

We've been contacted by a number of readers of this blog, and are now awaiting a reply from the Older Women's Group as to how and where we can obtain copies of the brochures mentioned in this media article. We will let you know once we receive a reply.

AGING!

Let's all laugh together, because life CAN, and IS, fun!

Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together.

One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'

The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.'

She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'

(Cartoon copyright - Maxine)

Empowering older women in the midst of Australia’s ageing population

by University of Western Sydney Media Unit
29/07/2010

An expert in elder law from the University of Western Sydney has launched a series of brochures, designed to protect the financial security of older women.

Ms Sue Field from the School of Law at UWS teamed up with The Older Women‘s Network (OWN) NSW to produced the set of publications. Aimed at elderly women, the ‘How Could They?’ series of brochures tackles issues such as financial abuse, negotiating new relationships, going guarantor, gifts and loans, and buying a ‘granny flat’.

Ms Sue Field, who is the NSW Trustee and Guardian Fellow in Elder Law, had the initial idea to educate elderly women about these key issues some years ago after repeatedly hearing cases of elderly abuse.

“Older women play a critical role in supporting their families and communities. And, in an environment of increasing social and financial pressure, older women must also ensure that they do not jeopardise their own security when asked to help those they love,” Ms Sue Field.

“Both older men and older women can experience financial abuse; however women tend to experience financial abuse more often than men as some women may be financially inexperienced, particularly if they have not worked outside the home or have not had much experience managing money.”

Ms Field says some of the worst cases of financial elder abuse are perpetrated by those closest to us, and begin with seemingly small transgressions, often culminating in the inadvertent surrendering of power, authority and financial security.

“Unfortunately, unless we recognise this potential and initiate steps to protect ourselves early, communication can break down, with the situation and the relationship deteriorating.”

The ‘How Could They?’ series comprises with a set of five brochures exploring legal and financial issues, including: * A Room of One’s Own - for older women considering ‘Granny Flats’ * Love at Last! - for older women negotiating new relationships * Over the Rainbow - for older lesbians negotiating new relationships * One Good Deed... - for older women considering gifts and loans * Safe as Houses? - for older women considering going Guarantor

Each brochure is a based on a real situation and has been developed by and for older women. Brochures on different topics have an easy to follow format with sets of commonly asked questions and answers, as well as a section for other questions for consideration.

“The questions, strategies and resources contained in each brochure have been designed to empower older women with the relevant tools to resolve problems and strengthen their position without jeopardizing their personal relationships,” says Ms Field.

“We have ensured that each publication is written in plain English, minus the legalese.”

The series aims to provide older women with a starting point for help and guidance so they can avoid becoming a victim of elder abuse.

For more information, please contact OWN NSW on (02) 9247 7046, or to obtain further copies of each publication visit: www.ownnsw.org.au.

Can't help but include this .....

From Wednesday's Globe and Mail Published on Tuesday, Jul. 27, 2010 7:12PM EDT Last updated on Tuesday, Jul. 27, 2010 7:31PM EDT

Avoid death by friendlessness

People do not necessarily die of loneliness, but they are more susceptible to disease, for reasons that may be in part biological, and in part because they are less likely to take up healthy habits.

There is said to be a war on obesity, a war on smoking, a war on alcoholism, but where is the war on social isolation, friendlessness and hostile relationships? According to a review of nearly 150 studies of more than 300,000 people, mostly in North America and Western Europe, poor social relationships are as big a contributor to early death (not including suicides) as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or having more than six drinks a day. They are twice as deadly as obesity, says the review by Julianne Holt-Lunstead, a psychologist at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah.

People do not necessarily die of loneliness, but they are more susceptible to disease, including heart disease, cancer and HIV/AIDS, for reasons that may be in part biological (loneliness weakens immune systems) and in part because they are less likely to take up healthy habits. Good friends act as a buffer against disease.

Decades ago, infants in orphanages died at an alarming rate, no matter what their initial state of health or the quality of medical care they received. “Lack of human contact predicted mortality,” Prof. Holt-Lunstead writes. The point seems obvious, at least today, but “the medical profession was stunned to learn that infants would die without social interaction.”Practices in custodial care changed, and more babies survived; Prof. Holt-Lunstead wonders what might be done with greater recognition of the importance of social relationships to health.

There is no easy prescription, but in light of the review's findings the public schools deserve support and funding for their efforts to teach conflict resolution, co-operation with others and the ability to work in groups. Volunteer mentorship programs should be encouraged. The findings also suggest that the current obsession with obesity could be counterproductive if, however unintentionally, it shames heavy people and alienates them from others.

Psychiatrist George Vaillant of Harvard University spent decades tracking the lives reflected in the Grant study, which followed a group of seemingly well adjusted “Harvard men” from the early 1940s until today. Ultimately their lives were little different from those of less privileged people. Some became alcoholics. Some suffered from mental illness. Some were happy and fulfilled.

“The only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people,” Dr. Vaillant says. Feeling cared for and loved is as important to health as exercising, quitting smoking and not drinking to excess. There's a public-health campaign in there somewhere.

Are there tell-tale signs?

Need. At some stage we all have needs. In fact if you think seriously about it, we have needs ALL of the time.

That got me thinking. Aging brings with it all sorts of changes - some we like and some we don't like at all. However, that doesn't take away the fact that while we have needs which may increase as we age, there are signs that can help our families recognise the CHANGES in our needs.

If you feel that your family needs to be made more aware of this sort of thing, then why not casually suggest that they keep "informed" by regularly reading this blog. (Now that's what is called self-promotion!).

However, while dealing with some of the serious sides of aging, let's look at it as an exercise in awareness.

According to one of Australia's biggest networks of home and nursing care they have found subtle warning signs and I set these out hereunder for you to consider, and for your family to consider. Changes can be very gradual and so can be be missed.

Changes in the appearance of the home or the person as well as behaviour are important to notice. While older people often put the subtle changes down to "aging", it is important that small changes be acknowledged - the fine line between managing and not managing may be just that - a fine line, but it is important that it is not overlooked.

"Covering up" (making excuses) is also a key issue because older people are fearful or anxious about the consequences. They are concerned with what will happen in the future, where they will live and who will take care of them, so they often don't tell their families what is really going on.

So here's a list of signs that assistance might be needed:

* Condition of the house changes. Things not attended to as they once were, such as overgrown lawns, piles of newspapers around the house, or dirty dishes. These may well be as a result of a person not feeling well, and they would be done as soon as the person is "back on their feet', but if these conditions continue, then the family should take note.

* The aging person appears depressed and/or lethargic. If the person has always been very optimistic and suddenly becomes pessimistic and doesn't seem to care about things or themselves, then assistance might be needed.

* Apparent loss of memory or constant sense of confusion. This can happen to anyone, even a young person, but for continued problems, then help is needed.

* Personality changes - quiet, withdrawn, depressed, irritable and angry.

* Less contact with the outside world.

* Changes in appearance - weight, skin, hair, clothes.

* Loss of interest in hobbies.

* Deteriorating hygiene - clothes grubby or stained.

* Extreme clutter or hoarding (this may well be a long time habit or trait, but if taken to extremes, then something should be done to assist).

* Loss of appetite or interest in food - fresh food not being purchased and meals not being prepared. Food going "off" in the frig.

There are a number of networks and home-care facilities available that will assist the older person to grapple with these changes, so much so that their previous interest in life and outside activities may return, allowing them the dignity to continue living in their own home. With many of the stresses of home maintenance and the help with laundry washing and regular house cleaning, the older person can enjoy their older years with as much enthusiasm as when younger.

"S" Plates

What is this nonsense?

In the press recently, an article raised the suggestion that older drivers should be issued with an "S" plate that should be affixed to their car windscreens. This "S" plate would then alert other drivers that the driver of the car in question is a "senior" citizen.

Whoa a bit. We've got "P" plates for those who have just been issued a license, and then there's a Disability Permit for those who are less mobile but who are still proficient drivers (of ANY age!).

But why single out the seniors? Why not an "R" plate for Road-ragers; a "D" plate for disqualified drivers (and this is not a contradiction because far too many disqualified drivers get back into the drivers seat and commit all sorts of road breaches of law); a "B" plate for bad-tempered males (no, I'm not gender biased!); a "Sm" for smokers; a "MP" for mobile phone users (which is illegal but an awful lot of people especially young women do it); and one that my girlfriend suggested "DM" for distracted Mums.

Why are seniors considered to be a nuisance - and as a lot of the media has been pressing in recent times, a "burden" on society? It seems someone has to take the blame for what is going on in society, so let's throw it at the seniors!

This is not good enough!

Maintaining your style (fashion, that is!)

Lately we've been hearing that older Hollywood celebrities are refusing to be type-cast as far as clothing is concerned. Goldie Hawn, Jane Fonda, Sally Ann Fields and Jerry Hall to name a few, want to continue being able to buy (or be offered) fashionable and your-at-hear clothing which has been designed and made for the woman OVER 50, without being seen as frumpy or "mutton done up as lamb!"

Well, this is good news for many of us. We've been asking for this equality for a long time.

However ...... the opposite side of the coin presents a rather dull picture for those women who prefer to wear "granny" clothes (this term is used consistently when describing clothing for the "older" woman). It seems that comfortable dresses and cardigans will slowly disappear from our stores (unless of course the young adults in their 20-30s decide that "granny" cardigans are all the go!)

And why are we to suppose they'll disappear from our stores? The manufacturers will say that "age" no longer allows women to have choice and the retailers will say that "older" women don't really want them. Amazing really, this is exactly the same argument that has been put forward for decades when relating to women of size and supposedly justifies their reasons for not giving the plus-size fashionable stylish clothes. We, the "growing older" women refuse to let this happen to us as well.

Yes, let's have a continuation of classic, stylish clothing as well as "trendy" clothing for the 50 year old plus, but also let's cater for the more conservative woman too, who DOES like her comfortable cardigans!

There's plenty of room for all of us, isn't there?

© 2010 A Parry, Victoria, Australia

Being aware of changes in and with our bodies!

Growing older sometimes brings with it all sorts of phobias! Imaginations I guess you'd describe them, more to the point.

Speaking with a health professional recently, she pointed out the worrisome tendency of "growing older" people who don't take any notice when they start losing weight unexpectedly. She explained "there's always a reason and yet so many people put it in the too hard file and forget about it. That is, until someone notices and remarks about it".

Many things including thyroid problems, diabetes and other disorders as well as infections and drug reactions can cause unplanned weight loss. There are, of course, other reasons too.

So it's easy to understand when a weight loss that is noticeable to others as well as your own scales happens, one can easily become entangled in all sorts of imaginings (especially thinking it's cancer). Sadly a lot of people put off having to ask their Dr for checkups, in the fear that they'll find "something awful".

But in our "obesity-obsessed" society, most people who lose weight are congratulated. Sometimes it happens that the powerful desire for weight loss coincides with the unintended weight loss of a disease process and the two become confused. Sometimes it also happens that while people recognise they are losing weight, they don't recognise new symptoms and regard the whole process as a mystery."(Fifty-Plus News July 2010).

It is always preferable that for unexplained weight loss, it is best to consult the family doctor. The doctor will take your history, which if given in an atmosphere of trust and honesty, can reveal much more than the patient anticipates.

As Jill Margo of Bodyworks (Fifty-Plus News) said in her recent column, "As doctors say - 'if you listen long enough, patients will tell you what is wrong with them'".

Your doctor has your file to refer to; he can listen carefully to what you are saying and because he knows you, he can revise what he already knows to meet your needs by asking pertinent questions (pertinent to him - maybe not to you!) ; he'll also be aware of any stress or emotional situations you may be going through (if you're honest enough to tell him/her). All these can relate to a change in eating habits.

But losing weight unintentionally may NOT be a bad thing. If you are emerging from a stressful situation, then you might begin to shed weight, as you become more confident and more like your old self.

(© excerpts from Fifty-Plus, Victoria, July 2010

Some serious stuff!

Were you aware that June 15th was World Elder Abuse Awareness Day?

I didn't. In fact I'd never heard of such a Day, until I read about it in one of our Seniors newspapers this morning. I asked a number of my "older" friends and they gave me a look of astonishment. It seems hardly anyone I know even knows about it.

The terrible fact of the matter is that elder abuse continues to be a persistent and yet under-recognised issue affecting our country's most vulnerable people. Financial, psychological and emotional abuses are the most common forms of abuse against older people in Australia.

And a more shocking fact if that the majority of cases, the abuse is perpetrated by family members. These are the people who elderly Australians are most dependent upon and yet are powerless to resist or fight.

Elder abuse is insidious and often follows abusive behaviour such as emotional bullying and blackmail. Such as putting pressure on an elderly parent to sell his/her home or threatening to isolate an elderly parent by withdrawing contact with grand-children. And so on.

A recent study found that the average age of victims is around 80 years and many are more vulnerable because of dementia. Financial elder abuse confirmed that signature forgery, credit card misuse, misappropriation of pension funds, transferring of house titles and persuading an older person to change their will or insurance policy, was more likely to be carried out by their children than people they didn't know.

If you live in Australia then visit www.seniorsrights.org.au) - if overseas look up your Seniors Rights website and get as much information as you can, particularly if you feel you are experiencing abuse or if you want to seek help for someone else.

Dressing for the seasons

It's winter here. While autumn seemed (and felt) to be milder than previous years, suddenly winter is beginning to feel like an early freeze!

Perhaps it's growing older, but the old bones seem to notice it more, and the creaking becomes more evident and painful.

It's strange how often you'll be speaking with older women, and they will admit to "reverting to past behaviours". Not that they are suggesting they were "naughty", but their admission revolves around favourite food and favourite ways of wearing their clothes.

I love long skirts that float around my hips and ankles. They make me feel like a woman. Worn with boots and brightly coloured tops and jackets and lots of beads and/or chunky jewellery, I'm more satisfied than trying to meet the latest fashion trends. The funny thing is that I never was a "hippy" or "flower child". I just find these clothes very much to my liking, comfortable and nice. I'm certainly not trying to be "mutton done up like lamb" - this is me.

And just because I have white hair, and am somewhat more wrinkly than the sweet young things that have taken to wearing this type of clothing, doesn't take away the fact that this is my choice, and let's face it, we have a right to make choices that suit us!

.....© Stella M, Victoria, Australia

You shouldn't wear that!

Honestly!!!!!!!

I've been hearing this, and similar things, since I was a kid. You shouldn't eat this, you shouldn't eat that. you shouldn't wear this, you shouldn't wear that!

I got a few years grace from all this flak, or so I thought. I reckon it's probably because I just shrugged my shoulders and got on with life.

But all of a sudden, I'm being told - again! You shouldn't be wearing that!

Am I committing a crime or something? It's not as though I've run amok, is it?

I saw this lovely little short sleeved cardigan, modern styling, totally different than I've previously chosen or worn. It's in a pretty dove grey colour, and worn over one of my long sleeved shirts, looks good, even if I say so myself. I feel good wearing it.

Well - first of all it was a "friend" (well, she thinks she is) - "that's a bit young for you isn't it?" Then my own young grand-daughter, "Hey Nan, you don't want that do you, this is more my style". The lady serving coffee took one look and said, "I thought of getting myself something like that, but I was told I would be mutton made up as lamb". (She's only in her 30s so who is she kidding?) Was she giving me a subtle message?

Hey look, I no longer care what other people think about what I choose for my wardrobe. I made up my mind a long time that "other people" didn't necessarily know what's best for me, and now I'm certain. By the way, I've just put on my lovely dove grey cardigan (with some other clothes I hope you realise!) and am ready to go shopping - what I'll find may be interesting!

......© 2010 Autumn P of Victoria, Australia